Trying Times
As some of you may have gathered from past entries in this blog…I've been going through some tough times for a while now. I keep thinking that I'm over the difficulties, but the truth is that on some levels, that's just not so. The immediate problem is over, but the consequences are going to last for…well, years, and living with them will be tough. Lately I've been finding that a lot of things just don't seem to matter so much any more. I've started to get really sloppy about some important things, and almost obsessive about other, trivial ones. Probably not a very healthy outlook.
I am, at least, aware of the problem. Turning things around is not so easy, but I'm working on it, or trying to. In fanfic terms…well, for the last few months I've done almost no writing. I just haven't been able to find the motivation. However, this last weekend has been a holiday weekend here, and I've actually managed to force myself to get some work done. Chapter 13 hasn't really progressed much further, but I have at least managed to nail down some important sections that had been giving me problems.
This evening I got cruel with Tuxedo Kamen. In a scene where he speaks passionately to Sailor Moon, I added a single sentence: a snippy comment from Itsuko. "He still spoke like a cornball." It was cruel, perhaps, but it's amazing how much better I feel about that scene after the addition. ^_^
Anyway. I can't honestly promise that I'm going to keep writing in the near future. But at least, right now, today, I'm inclined to start trying again. As for tomorrow…we'll see.
(It's summer here, and getting pretty warm in the afternoons. Sadly, my work-room faces west, and it really soaks up the heat. This does not actually make writing a pleasant task at this time of year. Oh, well.)
posted by Angus @ 10:49 pm
4 comments
4 Comments:
hey, thank you for the reply to my email, i really was starting to get worried, and with the delay on the email i was kinda...starting to worry for the worst. i was relieved when you responded. i thought i'd just respond back here.
i really got the feeling that whatever has happened is really weighing on you. its almost heartbreaking, in some ways. all i can do is offer my prayers for you, and hope things will get better and not worse.
i don't know what's going on, and respect you for not saying so, but don't push yourself to write unless you think it might help give you something to focus on besides..life. focus on what's important, but take a break sometimes, okay? a person can only be stretched and strained for so long before they break, and nobody wants a broken Angus MacSpon.
by the way, that comment Itsuko made about Tuxedo Kamen was perfectly delicious. it startled my cats when i laughed quite loudly. =)
take care
Hey a post! Glad to see something from you. Sorry to hear that things are not great. I think it's very considerate of you to let us know what's going on. Another fic I've been reading hasn't had an update in years and I have no way of knowing whether or not it has been abandoned.
Anyway, once again it's nice to see something from you. And I really hope things get better or at least stop getting bad.
Joan
I just signed up here to be able to leave signed comments in your blog so you have an idea who your readers are.^_^
Anyway, I really, really hope that you keep writing. This is probably the best fanfic series I've ever seen. But of course, your private life comes first. After all, we're all just perfect strangers on the internet. But I'm really grateful for all the time you've already invested in this to entertain us.;)
I echo the sentiments of the other commenters - write only if you feel comfortable and ready. And thank you for what you have already written.
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