Chapter 15 Released
Took far too long. I know. But here it is, at last.
Please note that this chapter has not been pre-read. Nobody's had a sneak first look at this. So, if you spot any mistakes, or typos, or anything that contradicts previous chapters or just pain doesn't make sense…I'd love to hear from you.
I'll be posting it on FanFiction.net when I get a chance. (That may take a bit longer, because FFNet loves to tinker with formatting, so I'll have to work a bit to get the chapter looking the way I want it to. But I'll get to it.)
And finally...yes, I have started work on chapter 16.
posted by Angus @ 5:21 pm
8 comments
8 Comments:
Wohoo! Good thing I'm on vacation right now, so I could spend a few hours reading it. :-)
I did find a couple of spelling/wording errors:
• ``How can such a rotten women make this much?''
◦ Should be "woman", singular.
• ``She stripped off her gardening gloves and apron and want back to the house''
◦ "Want" should be "went".
• ``Why did Shama-san do it, and why was Dhiti bothered?''
◦ Should be "Sharma-san".
• ``Iku’s answers were hesitant at first, but nothing she said seemed to provoke any kind of reaction from the women--only more note-taking--and after a little she seemed to gain more confidence.''
◦ "After a little" should probably be "after a little while".
• ``Deep inside, she was thinking: Ochiyo can be pretty perceptive. But I wonder what Setsuna will say when she hears that that one of them noticed?''
◦ Repeated word "that".
Two possible continuity errors:
• ``As a matter of fact, it was her first crime of any sort (unless one counted the not-quite-accidental death of a neighbour’s goldfish when she was seven years old).''
◦ Obviously not counting vandalizing 'M' offices either. :-) Quite possibly Suzue does not count that as a crime, but as a legitimate act of war, but in that case perhaps make that more explicit?
• ``Or if you could transform like we can--into a human being or something. But you can’t, so I just don’t see the point of acting embarrassed all the time.''
◦ Dhiti was in chapter 9, and heard Artemis saying "You know that we can change shape--take human form, for a short time." Has Dhiti has forgotten, or is this a continuity error?
Eagerly awaiting chapter 16. :-)
Agreed on most of the spelling/grammar points (though I've left "after a little").
And good catches on the continuity errors! I've applied corrections. (I had to lose "As first crimes went, however, it was definitely a biggie," which is a pity…every time I re-read that, it still made me laugh. But never mind.)
Corrected chapter has been uploaded.
I am going to be internally screaming about the new chapter for weeks. Likely months, even. It it glorious and I love each and every single word of it! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for sharing it with us!!!
Thank you so much for continuing the best Sailor Moon fanfic ever! Like others, I've checked back every few months for years hoping for more and I am thrilled!
<3 <3 <3 what an unlooked-for but incredible gift! Thank you for the wonderful new chapter!!
So delightful to pop back and see a new chapter up! Been following this story since the early days, and always hoped we'd see more!
you are the best
What I love about this story:
- The quality of the writing
- I cannot predict where you are headed
- The characters feel like real people
- I'm still confused about Beth and Mina... Is she half Venus or just emboldened to act like who she thinks Sailor Venus is?
The biggest concern is that I will never find out how this story ends, so I have to ask whether you have a Brian Sanderson/Robert Jordan plan for the completion of this series ;)
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